I noticed that I rarely said things bout God in my blog
Or maybe this is even the very first post I said something bout my religious.
I've been through quite a lot lately
From being back-stabbed, blackmailed, and some other stuffs,
I just complain and whine bout how my life sucks and that nobody understands me
& then came where Satan hits me hard on the face this time
I couldn't cry, or should I say, there's no tears there
I thought I would broke down and cry but I did not.
& to tell the truth, I rather cry it all out than just kept it locked and bottle inside my heart
For the first time ever, I thought I would die
Saturday morning, I woke up then rushed to the toilet immediately to throw up
I didn't eat breakfast and feeling very weak by 10am something,
to make things worse, I saw something bad -certain friends know what happened-
& made me weak physically. I had to play the piano for my church leader
I thought I was going to faint any minute
Fever and flu came to visit me and made me even more weaker -physically-
Went to bed straight away when I reached home and felt much better
First meal was dinner and still had the strength to watch movie, The Proposal.
In between this journey to dinner and after dinner,
my brother -god brother actually- Joel, talk to me
Told me lot bout God's word
He knew I was upset that day and he told me that
I was so upset because I am attached to worldly things
For example, what comes first to your mind when you woke up?
What comes first in my mind when I woke up is one certain person and my phone
Never God, sad to say.
God once said that, if you're attached to worldly stuffs then you're an enemy of God
I don't want to end up being an enemy of God
So the only thing I can do now is to pray hard =)
Wish me luck
XOXO,
Nathalie
Or maybe this is even the very first post I said something bout my religious.
I've been through quite a lot lately
From being back-stabbed, blackmailed, and some other stuffs,
I just complain and whine bout how my life sucks and that nobody understands me
& then came where Satan hits me hard on the face this time
I couldn't cry, or should I say, there's no tears there
I thought I would broke down and cry but I did not.
& to tell the truth, I rather cry it all out than just kept it locked and bottle inside my heart
For the first time ever, I thought I would die
Saturday morning, I woke up then rushed to the toilet immediately to throw up
I didn't eat breakfast and feeling very weak by 10am something,
to make things worse, I saw something bad -certain friends know what happened-
& made me weak physically. I had to play the piano for my church leader
I thought I was going to faint any minute
Fever and flu came to visit me and made me even more weaker -physically-
Went to bed straight away when I reached home and felt much better
First meal was dinner and still had the strength to watch movie, The Proposal.
In between this journey to dinner and after dinner,
my brother -god brother actually- Joel, talk to me
Told me lot bout God's word
He knew I was upset that day and he told me that
I was so upset because I am attached to worldly things
For example, what comes first to your mind when you woke up?
What comes first in my mind when I woke up is one certain person and my phone
Never God, sad to say.
God once said that, if you're attached to worldly stuffs then you're an enemy of God
I don't want to end up being an enemy of God
So the only thing I can do now is to pray hard =)
Wish me luck
XOXO,
Nathalie
No comments:
Post a Comment