No, I don't have the right, fancy, bombastic words in me. And to be honest, I am ashamed of myself sometimes. I mean, I've been good in English for such a long time. I'm not the best, but I am capable of being better yet I'm not.
Reading my friends' blogs and professional bloggers' blogs sometimes makes me feel, somewhat, disappointed. How is it that some people can word a sentence so, well, descriptive and flow? Look at me, even as I'm typing right now, it takes me a few seconds to actually think what to type. All because I want to sound smarter and of course, better English.
I read, I listen and I learn.
But "better" English words just doesn't seem to cooperate with me and it never stays in my head.
Truth be told? This has been bugging me for like a while now. That self-confidence that I used to have is slowly fading into the darkness. See, now I just made myself sound stupid by using descriptive words.
Alright, you know what?
I am just gonna stay as I am. I mean, I can't please everyone right? And if my readers ain't saying a word about my sentences or post then why should I? I know I have my grammar right and stuffs, no? But anyway, a blog is for me to express myself. Not some essay competition whatsoever. If it pleases me then that's the best I could do.
Sometimes, I also feel terrible when I complain. Whenever I do, I tend to think of what other people who isn't in a better condition than me would feel. There's always this self-blaming issue going on with myself. I would blame myself for being so inconsiderate by complaining when I obviously already have a good life.
Right, I already had a half an hour break from Biology. So I might as well as get back to work now.
BIOLOGY tomorrow!
I am nervous as this is my FIRST Science paper. Pray that my butt wouldn't hurt for sitting 3 hours writing. Goshhh...
Pray hard,
Thalie.C
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