I feel like I have the need to get this out while its still fresh in my memory and all that, and quite frankly, I feel like by doing so, it might actually help me process all these information as well.
Few years back, I was given this book entitled "The Deity formerly known as God" by my Aunt Susan. It was gift from her and the family to encourage me for going to New Zealand. It was actually kinda like a little guide book for me in terms of knowing God better and more intimately. But of course, I have never been giving much attention to this book and it sat on the shelf for quite some time. However, just before I left for New Zealand, I decided to pick it up and give it a read and to this very day, its still one of my "go-to-book" whenever I feel like I need encouragement. Or maybe even something from God.
Anyway, here is what my Aunt wrote on the title page of the book and while I was reading it last night, I can't help but smile and think "wow, this is where God has led me to today."
Dearest Nathalie,
We wish God's richest blessings be upon you, your life with God and your studies as you go through another phase of life. We may not be there for you when you need help or guidance, but always remember Your God is always there. He will provide guidance, wisdom & protection in all you need. May this book help you to know God more deeper and intimately. Our prayers are always with you. So, be strong and be faithful to Jesus.
Lots of love,
Aunt Susan & Uncle Chan.
As I've mentioned in my previous posts of what God has done for me over these past few years really blew my mind. There are SO many things that I once thought it was irrelevant or insignificant just all started to make sense and connect the dots. eg, the day I received a phone call from NZ Immigration saying my visa has finally been approved was the 31st of March 2010. Lo and behold, the day that I've got water baptised in New Zealand is the 31st of March, 2013. This is just one of the many "coincidence" that I've been experiencing lately but to me, its something so amazing, so beautiful and so intimate. Its something I have NEVER felt before.
In short, the first part of this book is basically about how we formed our own image of God, like we think of Him as a cop around the corner just ready to catch us whenever we do something wrong, or a sweet old man who's enjoying His holidays somewhere and doesn't really understand what we're going through. While the second part of the book explains the true image of God. The God that is like a tired eyed father who's waiting for His son to come home safely, or the gardener who is actually working hard, watching over his plants and occasionally do some cutting or pruning here and there if necessary.
Personally, my God, is a God who is distant.
A God who I thought I could never ever relate to.
Sure, God understands me and knows me inside and out. But when I say distant, it means not being able to really communicate. To me, it has always been like a one way conversation. I pray and I talk to my Father in heaven, but I rarely get an answer. I hear a lot of people around me saying God talks to me, or read the Bible and see how God communicates with His people and it left me wondering, why isn't God talking to me..?
Am I really that unworthy?
Have I been praying wrongly?
What is wrong with me?
But I've finally realised, that sometimes, actually a lot of times, God did spoke to me.
The only problem was, I didn't listen. Or I didn't bother trying to listen.
Thinking of how much I've experienced over the years, I honestly cannot deny the fact that God has ALWAYS been there with me. Things DO happen for a reason and right now, sitting here just typing this out, it really reminds me of how God has led me to where I am today. Sure, it might have been my free will and my decision, but God was always there. Even when time was dark or bleak, He was there.
The distant God that I mentally formed, is actually a God who has always been there.
I'm just gonna end the post with this simple question.
"What is YOUR perception of God?"
And I hope, whatever your perception of our Heavenly Father is, I pray, that if its a wrong perception, God will show and reveal the true and real Self of Him to you. And if its the right perception, I hope and pray nothing distorts that image of God you have within you. :)
Yours truly,
Nathalie
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