Singlism.

So lately I have been doing my studies on Social Psychology and while reading my book, I came across this particular word that really struck me - singlism. 

Singlism: Negative stereotyping and discrimination that is directed toward people who are single.

After given much thought, I came up with a whole list of questions and some of my own "understanding" as to why being single can affect one's emotion. This is not an essay so I'm not going to reference it or anything, heck, this is my own understanding and I hope to make this interesting for all of you. 

So, lets start. 

After being single for a year, I kinda understand why is it that sometimes my friends who are also single would come up to me and say things like, "I wish I have a girl/boyfriend." or "I wish I'm married". And I don't deny it, I have thoughts like that too. But what is it that's driving these thoughts? As a psychology student, I have learnt that drives or otherwise known as "motivations" are usually caused by something. Its like a cause and effect thing. But what exactly is causing this?

You may say that as humans, it our nature to want to be with someone and be loved or whatever. Based on evolutionary theory (which I personally do not believe), Darwin tells us that its our PRIMARY, note, not secondary, but PRIMARY NEEDS, to be with someone, to reproduce. So basically, he's saying that we are wired that way. Freud supports this by saying that we UNCONSCIOUSLY desires to be with someone, but our conscious mind simply pushes that to the very back of our head, occasionally letting that desire slip into our conscious part of our mind. 

But is it really us? Is it really our brain or our gene that are telling us: "Hey, you should get a partner and go reproduce."? Or are there other factors that are actually triggering such thoughts?

Well, after given much thought, I would say that society has a lot to do with it. 

As mentioned before, single people are being stereotyped and discriminated, not obviously, but often very subtly by society, and we don't even realize it. How, you might ask? Honestly, I could give you a whole list of how and its still probably not even everything that affect a single person's emotion. 

One of the very obvious discrimination portrayed by society are usually days like Valentine's Day, Christmas or other "couple-related" days. Have you ever wondered why, when these days are approaching, you'll start seeing single people trying to comfort themselves like "who needs a partner?", or simply avoid going out in the streets and stuffs. Its during these days that you'll see a lot of discrimination towards single people. Society would say that people who are single are irresponsible, not caring, etc, which resulted to them not in a relationship. 

What about advertisements? 

Most advertisements we see on TV or even the occasional lame Youtube ads shows us that if you're single, you're lame or a loser. Even "heart-warming" ads like cooking ads. Do you realize that cooking ads are usually associated with couples being all lovey-dovey and happy chappy when they're cooking and stuffs? So society is telling single people, that you cannot be happy if you do not have a couple to share with? 

It has also been found that landlords usually prefer renting their houses to married couples than to single people. Why?

And the sad part is, single people usually aren't even AWARE of what's being exposed to us by the media or even society. We are so exposed to these things that we are now, kinda used to it, and we don't give much thought to it. 

So here's something to think about, if people are not being exposed to such things, do you think the amount of single people WANTING to be in a relationship would decrease? Cause lets be honest, being single has its benefits too, and some people do actually enjoy it. 

I could go on and on about this, but I guess this is what I have to say so far. 

Until the next time,

Yours truly,

Nathalie